Satire: Bovine Fecal Levels in Washington at All-Time High

The Intel Hub
By Tony Muga
February 22, 2012

Satire: This is not real (comedy).

Scientists in Washington D.C. today drove sensors deep beneath the highest levels of Bullshit ever seen in an effort to determine its rate of accumulation and to try to find out if it may in fact pose a health threat.

Dr. Richard Solinsky, of the University of Virginia, has been leading the week-long effort to get a measurable depth finding and made a prepared statement earlier today:

“After initial attempts failed to penetrate the hardened crust of Bullshit, we were able to break through late yesterday with a new diamond tip drill. Our findings, unfortunately, only confirm what we already suspected.

Levels of unwanted and noxious Bovine Fecal Matter in Washington D.C. and in particular in close proximity to the White House, are not only at an all-time high, but the accumulation rate is growing exponentially!

This is in fact a dangerous situation. Now, I do not wish to alarm the general public but I must in all fairness say, that if the Bullshit piles on much higher, the mountainous pile will likely implode, and the result could be catastrophic!”

Officials within the Obama Administration were, for the first time ever, immediately available for comment but as of this report, agents of the press have been warned by Dr. Solinsky to stay away from the White House Press Room and to not ask any questions.

“As I have said” Dr. Solinksy explains, “any FURTHER Bullshit could be catastrophic. If reporters ask Obama questions….well, let’s just say I don”t like the odds”

Satire

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